Life is a Gift (Here's to FIFTY)
I read somewhere that when you turn 50, you are sweet sixteen with 34 years of experience in life😜. As I approach 50, I can’t help but have mixed feelings, first I must thank the almighty for having gotten me this far and yes, I am a believer! I am NOT at all unhappy with my age, after all, I am like a single malt I get better and more expensive with age🤣. Someone asked me if I feel different from when I was 40/45 and I can absolutely say 💯. I love the person I have become and am becoming. I love how I am openly able to talk about what I want, what I like and what I will not put up with... I am more outspoken and able to say enough or no when something is not working for me! Over the last couple of days a few people have said to me, you look different, one said you’re glowing and the other said I cannot put my finger on it, you have a shining light🌟around you.
Becoming; that’s the word I have been looking for: causing someone to look attractive; having a flattering or attractive effect. I have not read the book but instantly as I have been writing this it popped up in my mind and I had to google the meaning and truthfully, I have found the word! I am becoming!
As I turn 50 in a couple of days, my mixed feelings are that I am really looking forward to it but that the same time I am grieving. I feel grief this morning and I am a little down but not out…I grieve for my family and friends who did not make it to 50, I feel grief that my Dad and lil sister are not here to celebrate with me. I feel grief for my close friend who wanted us to grow old together but died 4 days shy of his 48th birthday, today I truly feel the sadness of losing loved ones, but I must stand up, sit up and smile for the time that we had together.
Last week I was schooled by a girlfriend who turned 50 as well, and she walked me through some of the mistakes I have made (she did it with so much love, thank you)…I hope I will continue to learn from those mistakes, I’ve had faith and love in many who didn’t deserve it, but from each of these people I have learned valuable lessons and through it all I have still managed to forgive. I have questioned myself; I have replayed moments in my mind over and over again and wonder why I didn’t’ see it sooner.
So, as I change ages (I am 9.25 in dog years😉). I hope I have understood the assignment, that life truly is a🎁. I have had lots of ups and downs, but I can assure you that the fact that I am still standing proves there were definitely more ups than downs. I will be kinder to myself, I will celebrate the small wins, I will be grateful, I will set new goals its never too late, I will worry less, I will be bold, I will be humble, I will age gracefully and I will learn to🥰 whole heartedly.
to the fifth floor!